Self-Care Sunday
Surviving the tough times
This is the latest in my occasional series on the importance of engaging in some self-care in order to help you deal better with the fight against worldwide authoritarianism and fascism.
The outcome of the recent US presidential election has totally shocked me and many of my friends. I have one friend whose 13-year-old child is transgender and she is literally fearful about her child's future in a country that will be dominated by an openly transphobic political party. I know people of color who are worried about the potential for increased racism. I know women of childbearing age who are scared to death of a potential abortion ban on the federal level and maybe even ban access to contraceptives as well. I know seniors who are worried that both Social Security and Medicare will be cut. There are rumors that the incoming Trump Administration will fire scores of federal employees while relocating whole agencies outside of the Washington, DC area. I live in the DC area and that's a big deal because this scenario would definitely impact the entire economy of the region.
But then I remember that I had gone through other tough times in the past. In 2011 I underwent hip surgery and my then-husband was a wonderful caretaker for me while I was recovering. He told me that he loved me and he was looking forward to see me get better. Three months later we celebrated a wonderful Christmas together. Three days later he abruptly announced that he was moving out and he literally bolted out the door. He never indicated that he was unhappy or anything. He refused to talk to me and he would send these really nasty emails where he began to threaten to sue me if I didn't go along with his sudden desire to divorce me. Basically he went from being a very sweet yet goofy guy to someone who acted nasty and arrogant. To this day whenever I see a photo or video of Donald Trump with this incredibly dour look on his face (which is often) he reminded me of my ex-husband after he left me. My ex seemed to think that being the grandson of the famous Hungarian diabetes researcher Michael Somogyi had entitled him to act the way he did while he claimed that it was my fault that he had to leave. I learned through mutual friends that they saw him with a friend of ours. He told me that it was my fault that he is with her. He married her two months after our divorce was final.
Then there was the death of my mother after she spent the last 12 years of her life dealing with multiple sclerosis in early 2020 followed by the arrival of the COVID-19 pandemic just a few weeks later. I suddenly had to pivot from mourning my mother to doing everything possible to avoid that deadly virus. I had one friend who caught it and she's still dealing with Long COVID to this very day. I had a few other friends who caught it and recovered completely. My ex-husband's stepsister's oldest daughter wasn't so lucky. She died of COVID-19 at the age of 29—just two months before the first rollout of the new vaccines.
Way before that I remember the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. I became terrified when I learned that one of the hijacked airplanes had hit the Pentagon because I live not too far from that place and I didn't know what would happen next. My church became a venue for a funeral for an entire family of four that was on that plane that hit the Pentagon—one of the many places in the DC area where funerals were held for the terrorist victims.
So now, like many other Americans, I'm in yet another fearful time because of fear of the unknown. I came across a couple of videos that both provide pratical advice on how to respond in a positive way. One is by Farron Cousins from the Ring of Fire YouTube channel where he gives advice on things that you can do to maintain your sanity during these unprecedented times. Among them is to read a book, join a gym, work on housecleaning if your home is a major mess, pursue a hobby—anything that will improve your sanity. The idea is to stop fretting over what you can't control (the outcome of the recent election) and focus on what you can directly control.
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has some more good advice: Start reaching out to your friends, relatives, coworkers and neighbors. Try to build some kind of a community. It doesn't have to be a huge community, it could be with a small circle where you can hunker down with other people while enduring the hard times together.
The advice in both of those videos can also apply to other tough situations besides the reelection of Donald Trump, such as surviving a natural disaster. Pursuing personal interests and reaching out to other people are great ways of helping you to survive the tough times.
In addition you can follow the tips that I wrote in my previous Self-Care Sunday posts that you can check out below. Just remember that you are not alone.
Other Self-Care Sunday Tips
Contact current friends and make new ones.
Step away from social media for a few hours.
Cultivate a sense of humor and laugh.
Don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
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